The way you parent your child can have a significant impact on their growth and development. Specifically, it can affect your child’s emotional intelligence, self-esteem and self-confidence, and how he feels about himself and the world around him.

Thus, you must adopt a positive and healthy parenting style because it will not only play an important part in your child’s behavior but also who he becomes in the future.

Ultimately, the way you interact and react to your child will influence her for the rest of her life.

Studies suggest there are four primary parenting styles: authoritarian, authoritative, permissive, and uninvolved. All these parenting styles are unique in their approach to parenting children and each one is based on various characteristics.

So, if you are wondering what your parenting style is, you have come to the right place. This article will help you identify your parenting style and teach you how to improve your parenting techniques (if needed) so they meet your child’s needs.Authoritarian Parenting

Authoritarian parents require children to abide by the rules – without objection. Excuses do not fly with these parents. When a curious or combative child questions the logic or reasoning behind a rule, authoritarian parents are likely to respond to her by saying, “Because I told you so! Don’t question me!”

Understand that parents who adopt this parenting style are not interested in bargaining with their children. In fact, they demand obedience at all costs and if they do not receive it from their children, there is usually a hefty price to pay.

Authoritarian parents do not believe that children should be involved in setting rules and determining consequences or punishments for breaking them. These parents are also not interested in teaching their children how to make good decisions or use wise judgment. Rather, they shame, guilt, and embarrass them when they mess up (i.e., when they misbehave or make a mistake).

Thus, authoritarian parents are strict disciplinarians who have little-to-no regard for a child’s beliefs, thoughts, opinions, or feelings. This parenting style involves high levels of parental control and low levels of parental reactivity or responsiveness. Ultimately, these parents are considered “drill sergeants” who are determined to enforce rules and “toughen their children up.”

What does an authoritarian parenting style look like?

Authoritarian parents may take away their teenage son’s car keys if he does not make the school’s elite basketball team. Or, they may spank their children for making less than stellar grades at school.

Authoritative Parenting

Researchers suggest that an authoritative parenting style is the healthiest and most effective way to raise a child. Although authoritative parents have rules and consequences for breaking them, they also take their children’s opinions, beliefs, and feelings into consideration through open and honest communication.

So, even though authoritative parents set rules, implement limits, and use discipline, they include the child in the process. More specifically, these parents discuss rules, boundaries, and consequences with their children – in advance.

This parenting style uses logic and empathy to raise and guide a child. So, when a child questions a rule or boundary, he is given a logical explanation as to why it is important.

Authoritative parents make every effort to legitimize their children’s feelings, but these parents also make sure their children fully understand who the boss is. In other words, they make sure their children recognize that adults are ultimately in charge of ensuring their well-being.

This warm and nurturing parenting style involves parental responsiveness, transparent rules, unconditional support, high expectations, and independence.

Parents who adopt this parenting style tend to rely on positive reinforcement (compliments, praise, and rewards) to garner the desired behaviors from their children. Authoritative parents are not only loving, nurturing, supportive, and encouraging, but also realize that children need opportunities to be autonomous as they age.

What does an authoritative parenting style look like?

Because authoritative parents tend to adopt a democratic approach to parenting, they may include their children in daily discussions during dinner, while listening and validating their thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and opinions.

Or, they may set high expectations for their children, but also provide them with the tools, resources, environment, love, and support they need to be successful in school and later in the workforce.

Permissive Parenting Style

Permissive parents tend to be overly indulgent with their children. In other words, they are too lenient in their parenting. These parents usually only appear or intervene when a serious infraction has occurred. Otherwise, the children are on their own.

On the plus side, permissive parents tend to be very forgiving, primarily because they believe it is normal or acceptable to do “silly or dumb stuff” when you are young. Permissive parents rarely set or enforce rules. And, when they do set them, they are often broken – without consequences.

These parents are more like friends to their children, rather than parents. In fact, these parents are known for encouraging their children to share personal information with them (as a friend would) well into adulthood.

And, when their children demonstrate bad behavior or make poor choices, these parents do not try to correct them or get them back on the right track.

Permissive parents hardly ever criticize or chastise their children for fear of being shunned by them. These parents shy away from discipline because they do not want to upset or disappoint their children. But even though permissive parents are too lax with their children, they tend to be warm towards them when they do respond.

What does a permissive parenting style look like?

Permissive parents may party, drink, or hang out with their teenage children. Or, they may dismiss bad behavior as “kids being kids,” after learning that their children have shoplifted from a local store.

Remember, these parents do not want their children to “shut them out” or become upset with them, so they simply ignore bad behaviors to keep the peace.

Uninvolved Parenting Style

Most uninvolved or neglectful parents have no clue as to what their children are doing. These parents rarely set firm rules, boundaries, or expectations, but when they do, they are rarely, if ever, enforced. As a result, their children often do not get the attention, nurturing, and guidance needed to properly grow and develop into adulthood.

Uninvolved parents expect their children to parent or raise themselves. In other words, they do not invest too much time, attention, or effort into addressing their children’s basic needs.

Yes, these parents are negligent, however, this is usually not done on purpose. In other words, some uninvolved parents may be uninformed when it comes to child development.

For instance, a single parent, struggling to make ends meet (pay bills, cook, clean, and ensure that her child has clothes, school supplies, and food) may come across as uninvolved when she is more likely overwhelmed.

This parent may not have the time or energy to be fully involved in her child’s upbringing. Keep in mind, however, some uninvolved parents are simply indifferent to their children’s needs or disinterested in their lives.

What does an uninvolved parenting style look like?

When one or more parents suffer from a health condition (physical or mental) they can quickly become neglectful or uninvolved in their child’s life. Why does this happen? Because their focus lies on managing their condition(s) or fulfilling their own needs, instead of addressing their child’s needs. As a result, this child’s needs may be left unfulfilled.

Summary

Let’s be honest, parenting is not for the weak of heart. In fact, raising kids is one of the hardest and most gratifying jobs in the world! So, the fact that you have made it this far is a testament to your resilience and perseverance. The truth is there are no perfect parents. And all parents could stand to tweak or adopt a new parenting style that better aligns with their children’s needs.

Thus, the only thing parents can do is keep learning, trying, and doing their best to be the best role models they can be for children. There is no room for shame, guilt, or embarrassment in parenting.

However, there is always room for improvement. All you need to do to raise a happy and well-balanced child is to show him unconditional love, support, guidance, respect, and encouragement. In other words, walk the walk and your child will follow!

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